UCLA Officially Led the Nation in Steals Before the Season Even Started

Last week, LiAngelo Ball and two teammates were arrested in China for shop lifting. The players have since been released due to the ever so brave negotiation tactics of former television celebrity Donald Trump. His valiant efforts that spared the boys of 10 years (fake news) in prison for shoplifting thankfully have not gone unnoticed. Unless of course you ask Trump himself. Who made sure amidst all of what could be keeping a man like him busy, to acknowledge his own “heroic” efforts.

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Spanning to the other end of the Big-Baller Spectrum we find LaVar Ball sitting in silence, a sound he is not much familiar with. LaVar, who is yet to comment on the investigation of his son, mentioned to reporters that he is expecting to have a meeting with Trump sometime in the near future. However, this meeting seems doubtful to occur for two men with such loaded agendas of course. You know, since one man is busy running one of the most powerful organizations in the world, and the other busy pretending to be the President of the United States.

Oh to be a fly on the wall for that meeting. Picture it now. White House staff just finished prepping the oval office for it to welcome the biggestpolitical(?) news channel, ESPN.

 

First Take on Location: Washington D.C.downloaddownload-1download-2

 

I’ll digress before I venture too far into the idea of Stephen A. Smith and Donald Trump struggling to land subtle verbal jabs on one another over the loud mouth of the UCLA star’s father.

 

“They will have to earn their way back,” said Coach Steve Alford of his three recently suspended players. What does this mean?

 

Well for basketball purposes this means that Steve Alford is pretty pissed about having to sit some of his players for something stupid and something that he couldn’t care less about. Classic coach line to say that they will have to earn it back. Alford’s quote translates almost perfectly to normal fan language as “I’ll wait until things blow over before they play again so I don’t look bad and the school doesn’t get mad at me.” You don’t keep a member of the First Family of Chino Hills on your roster if you’re Steve Alford and UCLA unless you’re looking for any sort of attention you can get. Which is exactly why UCLA was over in China anyway, looking for rich Chinese family’s attention with the hopes of them sending their children over-seas to the prestigious academics of the Pac-12.

 

And for us? Well it means that we’re now responsible for sitting back and reflecting on how good the next episode of the Kardashian’s Ball’s reality show is going to be when it eventually airs on Facebook. Does this mean UCLA is screwed for this season? Is LiAngelo now going to be the most relevant Ball? It’s too soon to tell for either of those but a few things I do know…

 

I do know that LaVar Ball has long been the face of the Ball’s big brand. I do know that LaMelo dropped 92 on a bunch of high school kids that none of us can name one time. And I do know that Lonzo is starring in his new role on the Lakers bench. What I didn’t know? That LiAngelo was even part of the family before this stunt.

 

I’m not saying that I don’t think what you think I’m saying, but stay woke on everyone mistaking this possible conscious decision as an “inexcusable lapse of judgement.”

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